This past week or so I have been reflecting on life and how much I feel like I have failed in keeping up with Blogtober. I have watched several other people post a blog post each and every day like I intended to do. I am very proud of all of them but as for me life has gotten severely in the way. Every time I have gone to write I have been paralyzed with indecision, stress, and lack of creativity.
This is the plight of a writer.
When writing is more than just a hobby and more than just something you have to do for school, it becomes a lot harder to keep up with it. In other words, your passion for writing suddenly turns into an unpleasant job. I see so many quotes all over the internet about the “need” to write and this is very true; if I didn’t write I would shrivel up and only be an empty shell. This doesn’t make the task of writing any easier.
Like any good relationship you make the choice every day to keep going. You have probably noticed that at the start of a new relationship it is very exciting. You’re passionately in love and can’t imagine life without this person. You pursue the relationship faithfully and energetically. However, time takes it toll until soon you begin to have conflict and notice different traits about that person that you don’t quite enjoy. The relationship reaches a point where you must decide either to press forward or end it altogether. Writing something new is the same way. You’re very excited and can’t keep you fingers away from the keyboard. But as time goes on you begin to grow weary and wonder why you even started writing this piece of crap in the first place.
As NaNoWriMo draws near it has occurred to me that I don’t feel remotely ready. If I wasn’t able to blog for a whole month what makes me think that I’ll be able to write a 50,000 word novel in a month? It’s thoughts like this that are the reason why I am unable to blog for a whole month. It’s thoughts like this that make it impossible for me to stick with something long enough to finish it or turn it into a solid habit. Before I completed NaNoWriMo for the first time I was all too famous for starting a story but never completing it. Once I cranked out my first manuscript I was pleased as punch. I suddenly knew I was capable of writing a novel. It just took a lot of hard work.
I am not opposed to hard work but I also don’t enjoy having to get over the hump that always seems to be right in the middle of a long term goal. “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV) I know I’m not capable of reaching my goals entirely on my own. Time and time again I have proven that making the decision to keep stepping forward is hard for me to do. I want the end result but some days it’s hard to gear myself up to doing it. Maybe I didn’t sleep well the previous night, perhaps I’m running low on clean laundry, I have to go to work, or I’m really craving deep fried Oreos that I know I shouldn’t be eating. Whatever the obstacle it seems far more important than actually achieving my goals. This stems from the fact that deep down inside I am rather lazy. So, the best course of action at this point is to just do it. Force myself to just work and work until I reach my goals. Making that decision every day to say, “Yes, I know you’re exhausted but it’ll be worth it in the end.”
Watch this video below! It is highly inspiring if you’re having an uncreative day!