I am numb to beauty anymore. Sadly, with the constant stimulation from magazines, Pinterest, TV, and videos I no longer seem to gasp in awe at natural beauty. I was heavily involved in photography for a long while until my camera broke and now I sit in a creative slump because I cannot possibly draw what my eyes see on a daily basis. But if I had a camera would what I capture be enough?
One of my favorite seasons to capture on camera is autumn and this year I was surprised at the feelings that welled up inside me. I have been stunned, yet again, at the beauty of it all. The other day I was driving down one of the main stretches of road in my town and had to just sit back in sheer wonder of what I was seeing. Deep reds, vibrant yellows, warm oranges, and brooding browns greeted me. Many of the leaves were plastered to the road by the rain and the rest in glittering canopies over my head. The air was crisp, clean, and cool and I just felt surrounded by blissful magic. I was safe and at peace. It felt like nothing could possibly harm me underneath all that magic and beauty. You can’t capture that with a photo.
As much as I love Pinterest, I think it has become like fast food for beautiful things. Instead of venturing out into the world and experiencing beautiful things we have taken to consuming beautiful things with our eyes. The stunning photos on Pinterest of beautiful tropical locations and lovely women in dresses fulfill my inner craving for beauty but only temporarily. It doesn’t satisfy. Just like a McChicken doesn’t keep me full for hours; it only keeps the hunger at bay until I can get a steak or salad in my system.
As a wise wizard one said, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling) I know for me, I have spent a lot of time dwelling in my dream world. Many times I just shift through Pinterest looking at all the different amazing ideas; crafts, workouts, meals, clothes, places, homes etc… If I only had this or if I only was capable of doing that or if I had ingredients for this. I have spent almost two months not knowing what to do with myself and wishing I could do all of these things.
Yesterday I was having a particularly off day but I had to go to work later. I was answering phones as usual when a rather normal looking man used our restroom. As he was leaving he thanked us for being able to use our facilities and headed towards the door. I told him to have a nice evening. He wished me the same. Just as he got to the door, however, he stopped in his tracks, turned around, and came up to the counter to talk to me.
“I have something to tell you.” He said, leaning in close. He whispered, “You are the most important and created by God. There is no one else like you.”
If it hadn’t been so busy I might’ve cried right then and there. I felt like God had sent me an angel to remind me that I am important. God created each and every one of us for a distinct purpose. We are purpose driven people. I wasn’t created to just exist. Sitting and dwelling in what I’d like to be doing with my life wasn’t getting me anywhere.
Maybe you don’t have this same problem that I do. I am great at encouragement but I struggle with actually getting up and doing things I encourage others to do. I need to stop waiting for things to happen. Sometimes the motivation to do something extraordinary doesn’t manifest itself after a traumatic life event, somebody reaching down to help, or by winning the lottery…many times it just starts happening because you’re tired of nothing happening. I’m at the point where I just want to start pursuing my goals. I’m at a point where I am tired of being numb and just consuming beautiful and inspiring things. I want to BE beautiful and inspiring.